My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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