Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
