Can i not drive my cunt home
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
