Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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