is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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