mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize