She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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