my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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