Walk of Shame. In a state park.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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