$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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