he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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