All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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