I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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