I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
