Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
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