Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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