Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
