At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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