It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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