Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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