Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
