I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize
