my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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