i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize