Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
