like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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