Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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