I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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