My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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