The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
