East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
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