But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
