I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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