my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Randomize
