She announced her abortion via fbk
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
