do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
