She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
