Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
