Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize
