Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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