bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
