Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He kissed a someone with a penis
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
