wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
