Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
