Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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