TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
