Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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