My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
