what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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