2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
