I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
