He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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