I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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