So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
bring money and cleavage
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
