Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
