My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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